how do I talk to you without talking to you

This summer I learned I was an introvert.

I would’ve never thunk it, but one of my professors shown some light on this for me. The pieces really all started coming together and I have to say it was incredibly LIBERATING. I was starting to get tired. Like life tired, of talking to people and feeling deep down inside something wasn’t right about how I was going about my life. So now I am embracing the introvert and learning all I can about what this means for me and my life. I utilize MBTI knowledge and for all my life (well, just since college) I have thought I was an ENFP. It isn’t too far off, really. But when I learned I was an introvert I just had to figure out what combination I was. So I first I just figured I was an INFP, but the description just didn’t seem to fit. Here is a line from http://personalityjunkie.com/the-infp/:

“INFPs possess a strong moral and humanitarian bent. They generally see themselves as special individuals, equipped with a unique blend of skills and abilities that they hope to use to make a difference in the world.”

so that line def sounds like me, but the rest of the description just didn’t seem to fit.

“Other INFPs will vie for a plainer or unkempt appearance, expressing themselves through a reduction of effort rather than through bizarre embellishments. Female INFPs, for instance, may forgo what they see as the unnecessary hassle of applying of make-up, managing longer hair, or other stereotypical feminine practices. Many are aptly described as “earthy,” both in appearance and lifestyle…They may seek out, even if largely unconsciously, experiences that arouse or intensify feelings of passion or inspiration. They may turn to drugs, relationships, novels, poetry, music, or movies–whatever it takes to jump-start their emotions and achieve their desired level of intensity.”

Now, I’m not a big fan of showers but this doesn’t really sound like me. It just didn’t really meld well with who I thought I was inside.

I then tried to mix up the letters a little bit, thinking that maybe I was more of a T. I highly doubted I was an S but it could happen so I tried that too. Every once in a while I would see a sentence and think, shah I have found it. But overall the picture just didn’t seem to fit. So I sorta forgot about it until a friend posted an instagram shot of their type and a description…and then the lights came on.

here is the full description, because just one sentence wasn’t good enough:http://personalityjunkie.com/the-infj/. it ALL fit.

I have rarely thought of myself as a J, mainly because I can be quite fluffy. But THIS, this was me and it felt so good.

Now back to being an introvert, I feel like i need to catch up on me time and just run away. I came to the idea of writing this post because I want to catch up with a friend but I really don’t want to talk very much. Carrying a conversation is one of the most anxiety provoking events I could have. I tend to want to have deeper life changing conversations. That light small talk people do drives me INSANE. the introvert inside must of been tired of hiding under an extravert facade because it is becoming more and more difficult for me to maintain that art. So now I am trying out how to maintain and grow relationships, with my introverted style. any advice is welcome.

read more about introverts here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/introversion

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Comments
One Response to “how do I talk to you without talking to you”
  1. I also just learned I was an introvert! It’s incredible how surprised I was to find this out at first, but when I put together the pieces I realized I’m an “outgoing introvert” – never would I have thought this possible before!

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